Relationships101 - Marital 1

 

“He is in love”, how can you miss it, that broad smile, he is simply floating. No doubt the scene for many a youngster and then the not-so-young can easily at a point get hooked too.

This is a scene you find early on when boy meets girl. They marry and are all so happy. Awesome – everybody deserves to be happy. Anybody who stays in one house long enough will tell you that over the years the amount of junk they collect is enormous. The occasional spring cleaning helps but most times it takes a move from one house to another to decide to leave this pile of junk. Our lives, the emotional side of it, is really not that much different. Over the years we collect a fair amount of “junk” through various factors such as work stress, financial stress and physical neglect. The “he is in love” smile has most likely developed into a snarl.

The very many factors that lead to this situation are lost on many, but remedy can indeed still happen. Most people forget that life has its phases and this realisation can help in trying to stay on top of things. There are obvious guidelines that can help realign the emotional side to remain neutral/positive. The aim should obviously be to avoid negativity. Emotionally, we are all in need of spring cleaning but there is one rule that applies always: Don’t throw away another’s junk. Be it physical or emotional or a combination thereof, each one is responsible for his own junk and he/she needs to come to terms with that. The whole idea is to create an environment to facilitate this. Most wake up too late and start the finger pointing, finger wagging bit. The truth of the matter is that the buck stops here – The “I” factor – rather it should be the “eye” factor. Look yourself in the eye and address yourself as to why the situation is what it is and why is it not a few notches better. What was your role in the matter and be adult enough not to shirk responsibility.

We look at the political landscape and we find much finger pointing and very little, if any, indication of people taking responsibility. So, place yourself in that position and then decide whether you would have responded better than a politician in any particular case. Now, beam back to earth and your house and household and put up your hand as one who have been out of line. Pardon, humbly, those around you who you think have also wronged and don’t hold them responsible for the past – let it be. The day you got married, you promised your spouse that you will do this and that and at best you did “thi”, not even “this”, let alone that. Look deep inside yourself and draw the strength to set yourself and your family on a new path. Be the leader.

Relationships are fraught with dangers – but we need to be aware of that (another discussion, another time). Perhaps we need to be mindful of one or two things before we depart (although perhaps you will come back and read my next blog J ), make very few promises, but those you make, keep them. And a promise you need to make, is to build relationships that will last and commit yourself to find solutions when the GPS (of the heart) is offline.

Now do a good deed and like this and spread - Love