A bride no more

in the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

She extends her hand reflecting the henna-draping in preparation for her wedding day. The exquisite wedding dress was a transformation of an idea, the right pattern and of course the ideal fabric. There is  buzz of people around her as the excitement builds up to the actual wedding day.

Her parents are overjoyed at the occassion of her getting married. Yet in her heart there is a trembling for the certainty of the decision, which was beyond her, is about to become reality. Today she will become a wife and she will spend time and space with her new husband’s family. Silently and passively, she wonders why they call it in-laws.

At this tender age, she is agreeable to marriage, but fears that this decision was none of her making. She has no problem with the fact that parents have an important role to play in ensuring their chldren choose ideal partners. But therein lies the concern – was she marrying her ideal partner.

Revelry, exhange of greetings and gifts marks the occassion. Lavish as it is and joyous as it appears, she is withdrawn. She prays to her Lord, her Overseer, Allah, to guide her, to protect her and to make her marriage successul. Tears stream down her cheeks and as this not unusual for many a bride, nobody shares her concern. She manages a smile as expected of her. This bubbly person inside is smothered by the occassion and the reality of its meaning.

The success of the day is but a minute speck since the real success is the growth of the married couple as individuals and as a couple. As the wedding day became of distant memory, she bears the struggles of her marriage patiently. She eventually has children but the struggles are only intensifying as she feels robbed of her identity, her motherhood. Perhaps “wife” is a misplaced word in this partnership which by now barely resembles a marriage.

Her inner circle knows of her concerns, but nobody believes it to be too serious. An eventuality which was inevitable. The person locked up inside of her all these years wants to live. The bride of yesterday is no more. She can bear it no more. The most hated thing in the sight of Allah, but which is permitted, is about to become a new reality. She is granted a divorce after enduring much hardship. A harsh lesson but all good husbands will feel aggrieved at this situation. All good meaning fathers will understand that their ideal relationship is not necessarily the ideal relationship of their children.

Divorce happens. There ought not be a stigma attached, neither for the divorcee nor for the one intending to marry a divorcee. There are too many sad stories, some similar, some worse.

Marry them and if things don’t work out, after exhausting all avenues, then part in goodness.

The Bond

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

The glue that sticks it all together has become undone. Slowly the world is fragmenting. Each one is on a path of his own. When he does offer a helping hand, the world remains resistant to such aid. But mostly it is that the world has become immune to bonding and adhesive. At best such bonding is merely for pleasure but holds little value and soon the cracks appear yet again.

This phenomenon is much the order of the day in families, in groups of friends and in communities. One would have thought that each grouping would have its own special bonding like the old saying that blood is thicker than water. But, while that may yet be true, the bond is no longer one of strength. This is not an overnight problem, but one that has been on the cards for a while, yet many turned a blind eye.

Somebody made a comment recently saying that “our generation are going to make the weirdest grandparents”. That may have so many meanings and while the one who said this may have meant something totally different, the reality is perhaps that the gap between families and generations are forever widening. Technology is likely to be a key form of bonding because the natural human contact is no longer high on the agenda.

Perhaps in days gone by a strong family member held the family together. Perhaps in days gone by friends trusted each other and built strong relationships. Perhaps in days gone by communities were held together because of the influence of strong elders. Some may argue that therein lie the problem. The problem may be that these strong influencers did not necessarily pass on the baton. These influencers did not teach others the values to lead, they did not mentor. But shall we merely place the problem at their feet and claim innocence?
The world is falling apart and we merely embrace each other for others to see, for the picture. We have done much scientific research, business has advanced, sports has changed with technology and yet human relations has become merely an academic subject and no longer the pulse of our lives. Our own selfishness, our own absolute independence, our own self-righteousness has made us islands. While wars are being fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, our own missile launchers are aimed at anyone who encroaches, even though well-meaning, and often those who encroach are those we know like family and friends,.

As another person recently reminded me “when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life a thousand reasons to smile” – likewise when those in our circle make us sad, think of the many joys they bring us and if these aren’t many, find the one thing that you appreciate about them. Let those around us share with love. Love each other with our hearts. It is no co-incidence that we, as Muslims greet by saying “peace be unto you” – we look that person in the eye and say that you and everything about you is safe from my tongue, my thoughts and I bear no ill-feeling towards you.
Spread peace and through the cleansing of the heart, perhaps love will grow. Perhaps it is too late to save this world, but for you and I, we can still live with each other in peace and harmony by living with love. Perhaps in our own small way, two may become four and before long families may have re-learnt this beautiful thing called love, the real love, the real bond.

I pray that the Almighty Allah guides us and instils in our hearts that love for each other that even death will not take away.

Choice

 In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

It has come down to a choice. An important lesson and value is to understand how one makes decisions. What choice does one make?

I can make a decision which may make you feel good albeit momentarily. But the pressing point is whether I love you, as a fellow human being, enough to offer you something other than momentary comfort. Perhaps what I may say to you may make you momentarily uncomfortable. We may have had this discussion before (that is if you know me at all), but even now I am duty-bound to address you on this issue.

The day is dawning when you celebrate the birth of a person, and most of you call him the son of God. If he is the same Jesus who is the son of Mary, the virgin, then we Muslims say “peace be upon them” and we recognise him as a great Prophet. We do not, however, refer to him in any other way but as a creation of God and not in any way as part of the Godhead. If you celebrate his birth purely on this basis, the basis of being only a creation like you and I, then there may yet be some understanding between us.  But most likely you don’t accept him purely as a creation and that is where my concern for you lies. That you recognise him, in some way or another, as part of a Godhead. I have no intention of criticising you, but rather I address you for two reasons, viz that you need to understand why I do not congratulate you on this festival, your day of celebration, and secondly, most important of all, I wish for you what I wish for myself, that you may have some understanding of Allah and Jesus (peace be upon him) and for that matter, to understand the most authentic book, Quran, which is nothing else but the word of God, Allah, Himself.

We have absolute conviction in this Holy Book and do not doubt even a letter of it. The majesty of the book is clear for all to see in all its facets. A book of which the eloquence, its word arrangement, its style, its historical accuracy, its scientific accuracy is beyond the abilities of any human. A book which is unlike any other book in that it is preserved in the hearts of men, women and children. A book which clearly states that God, Allah is One, that He begets not, nor is He begotten. A book which clearly states that Jesus (Eesa) – peace be upon him – was born of a virgin mother, that he performed many miracles by the permission of God, Allah and that he, Jesus – peace be upon him – ascended to heaven alive. That Book, Quran, also clearly states that Jesus is in no way the son of God. This is the book to which we subscribe, the word of Allah.

Dear Christian, if I congratulate you, then it is as if I wish you harm for I am telling you to continue on a path on which we disagree. Rather, my silence (as opposed to congratulations) should rather be seen as a prayer for your well-being and indeed wishing you well.

We also say Jesus (peace be upon him) saves and for that we revere him. He laid the foundation for a prophet to succeed him. That Prophet, Muhammad – peace be upon him – to whom the final revelation, Quran, was revealed, is the one we ultimately follow. Jesus – peace be upon him – remains special to Muslims for he was born of a virgin mother, he performed miracles by the permission of Allah, he ascended to heaven alive and he will return before all that is on earth will come to an end.

So the choice I make is one of love for you (because I love God Almighty, Allah) and therefore, it is for no other reason that I do not congratulate you on this day.

I greet you with peace.

The tale of Two Tongues

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful, the Especially Merciful

 

Two people of similar backgrounds and ages sit down together for a meal

They have lived through much of the same but how they are different we will take a moment to reveal

Considerate, kind, attentive and concerned is clear in the expression of the one on the right

Carefree, expressive, bubbly as the one on the left brings much information to light

Facts and a dispensing of knowledge is of one who protects his tongue and his honour

A tongue so loose, letting out information, without checking its copyright, with much vigour

The attentive man on the right is deemed a freak for, although informed, he holds his mouth shut

While the tongue-wagging person on the left is the one where words flow like a glut

Much privacy for himself and those around him is for the one who guards his tongue

Aware we must be for dangerous is the one around whose neck one’s reputation is hung

The responsible person is the one who seeks to speak only with understanding

While understanding is undermined but the one who always has the urge of speaking

Strong-willed are both but the one, who remains silent, in no way belittles

While the need of the other to speak and be dramatic means that every time a tale he tittles

We are but one of the two people who may yet harm others but what we say

As without authority we, as is our general practice, present information on a tray

We pronounce judgement on the lives of others as in every story we contrive a change

The licence we have given ourselves makes every other story always seem strange

Indeed the safety on man lies in the guarding of the tongue

While it is quite the opposite when every bit of information is far flung

I pray that I am more like the man on the right who will not stand by listening to the one who gossips

The one on the left is the one that will present to you, before asking, about someone many tips

Being Charitable

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

An unassuming man, he sends out the call – A neighbourhood needs to be fed and perhaps add a few toiletries to the goodie-bag. The call is heeded. The troops gather, bringing with them the provisions as donations. A truck is loaded with pots of soup, many a loaf of bread, groceries and, as a treat for the kids, some sweets and biscuits.

The helpers, some aboard the truck, others follow in their cars ,proceed to a nearby neighbourhood, to satisfy the needs of some. The need is great and a greater effort will be required to feed all. The hope is that this will grow so that more can be fed.

Nevertheless, it is a lovely winter’s afternoon, the sun has, for once this season, the sky to itself. Not a breeze. Beautiful. As the truck arrives, the expectant crowd gathers. The helpers take up their posts and the food is handed out. One or two people are tasked with ensuring the flow of people to ensure that we reach as many people. Kids are among the expectant crowd and for those kids amongst the helpers, it is most definitely a humbling experience to see this. The gratefulness on the faces and the utterances of those who received the goodies no doubt makes one realise that this is but the mercy of Allah Almighty. Had it not been for two parties separated by an economic schism, the have’s (even those of us with just a little more) would not have had this awesome opportunity to understand the mercy and blessing of Allah Almighty in that He has given some more than others. Perhaps those who receive less here will receive more in the Hereafter, but it is such that now the giver and taker develop a love for one another. The one who gives does not feel any bit of superiority over the other. Both are grateful to the Almighty Allah because it is through His mercy that some felt the need and love to share of what they were given. The other party took for it was their need and, not once, as anyone made to feel that they( the have’s) merely owe it to them (have ’s). They too remained humbled and grateful.

There is many an effort of charity like this. There are people more experienced than this man when it comes to charity. But it takes a man with a big heart to be there for so many people, to be the driving force in helping others, not only it what is being said here, but in countless other events.

We salute people like him and pray that he is rewarded abundantly. We pray for all those who sacrifice in helping others for the good of humanity with the aim of please the Creator, the Nourisher, the Sustainer. We salute the many organisations that go the world over to address the plight of the people. We salute the individuals involved far and wide.  As we shed a tear for the plight of the people and, sadly hand over only a few pennies in the name of charity, we pray that perhaps we become those soldiers in the trenches. We ought to be more charitable, not only with our money, but also of ourselves and our families – it’s not a feel-good thing .. it is just a good thing. We cannot be satisfied while our neighbour goes hungry!

So we praise Allah for bestowing on us our health and the wealth that we may be contributors in His cause and effect the equilibrium, for that is our responsibility.

The Call

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Welcome my friend, I missed you much, so glad you could come

You are special for your master sent with you bounties and then some

I confess that I have so neglected myself since last you were here

All those promises I made, in most I failed, only to few did I adhere

How serene the atmosphere, the desire to do good, now that you did arrive

The worldly desires have somewhat faded and hearts have become alive

Oh how sweet the sound of the recitation of Quran, a most beautiful gift

Absorbing it all and abiding by it will most certainly cause with bad deeds a rift

 

So now you are here it is required of me from pre-dawn to dusk that I abstain

From food and water while with greater sincerity my prayers and conduct I maintain

While those who understand not, consider this noble task perhaps burdensome

Not in the least can the immense bounties you bring  be found loathsome

Yes I do realise that you have come to remind me ,yet again , of a better me

This training ground is much better than any other coaching session which is free

So I pray a little extra, give some charity and I remember my Lord and His blessings more

He, Allah, your master and mine, has promised that for this much blessing is in store

 

So I pray that your stay, however short, will be for me most beneficial

That on that Day, your witness in my favour will be made official

So I embrace you even more than I ever have, knowing that I truly love you

For this love is for no other reason but that my Love for Allah is true

  

Most certainly I acknowledge what you mean to me now, and always will

How then can I not invite others such that we may all forsake the evil

From my sisters who have not covered up to others who have not prayed at all

Always a good time to tell my non-Muslim friends to answer this call

 

The call is to obey Allah who created me, you and the entire universe

Such indeed was the call of Abraham, Moses, David and not forgetting Jesus

And on all of them be peace for they were without doubt great messengers

And to be complete,  so too peace upon Muhammad the seal of all messengers

O you who are a slave

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

O you who are a slave! You refuse to be a true slave, a slave to the One Who Created you, you refuse to be a slave to the Truth, yet you are but a slave.

Unfortunately, you are the one who gets up early in the morning to go to a place of work – a place which you do not enjoy being at; nor do you enjoy the wage being paid to you. Yet you are slave for the truth is you do not know why you are there and why perhaps you need to be there. You work overtime for minimum wage. You consider being flirtatious as a way to get ahead. You have sold yourself, your soul for what? A career? A job? Money? Status? You are a slave to a world which is meaningless.

You dress in a way which sometimes make you look uncomfortable, perhaps you are. But it is simply that you are a slave. You are a slave to fashion. You are a slave to peer pressure. You are a slave for truth that may be inside your heart is simply overshadowed by your master – the pressure from without – the fashion and society. You are a slave to that which is superficial and you don’t even realise it for you are its slave. Your life is superficial .. does that mean it is meaningless?

You party, you enjoy yourself when you often know the consequences of it all. But you cannot stop for you are a slave. You are a slave to the pressure of those whose lives revolve around fun and those who have shunned responsibility. But you a slave to those who have not your best interest at heart for you have succumbed. So you were there, so now you “in” .. in what? In slavery ... another meaningless exercise in being superficial – for you are its slave.

You have given up morals and values – you call them outdated – for you are a slave to a society bent on destroying itself but you have shunned truth, so how should you know. What say do you have for you are a slave to a lawless immoral society who looks down on the poor, the meek, the humble. “No, we don’t I hear you say”, but how hypocritical you are – for the moral you practise, they do too to your dismay or shall we just say the morals you don’t practise neither do they. But you are slaves to those who propagate immorality and for you nothing is taboo.

So are you a slave to Him who deserves your servitude or you are merely a slave to everything that goes against that which is natural? What is natural is what is from nature. What is from nature is what is from the Creator, Allah. He created men such that they grow facial hair, yet they shave it. He created men and women with eyebrows, yet women see fit to pluck it. And so the list goes on, the list  with servitude to that which opposes the nature given by Allah.

The reality of this misguided servitude is because we may not properly understand why we are here. If you are a true slave, a slave of Allah then indeed you are free for you are one that have humbly submitted to Him who does not change. But if you are a slave to everything else, you will continually strive to obey the master who changes with time, be it your boss, fashion, the latest social trends, and whatever else you may fancy to be a slave to.

Those who deny the truth and thus are really slaves of the latter, then they have no reason to complain for they have brought their misery upon themselves. But these are the people who find reason to complain.

Whatever you do in life, do it for the right reason, not for your whims and fancies. Be a true slave!

In case anybody misunderstands –  I am neither slating work or your boss – what I am merely saying, get to enjoy what you do, ensure mutual respect for your boss and colleagues and progress in your career on being the best at what is required from your job.