There she was as my eyes fell on her across a crowded room. “She’s the one” was the immediate reaction. And why not! If she was not my dream-girl before, she certainly is now. Our eyes made contact. I tried not to act too foolish but enough to hold her attention and make her smile.
Over time she too made me smile. We had fun. Then we got married. She already have a good figure but lost the extra pound or two for our wedding day – yes, that day is all about the bride. Married life was bliss – initially anyway. A few yes later we had our first child, then the next and the next. Wifey is now thirty-something and now sitting in my armchair I tried to picture that day when I first saw her. The flashbacks though are interrupted by reality.
Reality? Well, when a man’s paunch starts to show it more like his porch – he is building on. But wifey, no! No! no ! she cannot build on – it’s a man’s job. So now I am thinking “What happened since her wedding day”. Was that just a screensaver? Screensavers appear after time, not disappear. So what happened? Reality? Nobody told me about it. All my friends were egging me on- giving me high-fives. Now what to do?
I sit there almost in despair that while my love for my wife did not decrease, it is just not the same. When now I see my friends we no longer talk about the good things of our wives. In fact, we try not to raise the topic lest one of us get depressed.
While I am sitting in my armchair I look out the window and see my neighbour outside in his garden. I have never had much time for him but he always seemed friendly enough. He also had three kids and his wife, well I don’t know too much about her, actually nothing. I get up and decided to see how he is coping with things, we all being the same age and everything.
His story is not too different from mine except that their attraction for each other was not like ours. While I tried to impress the girl who is now my wife, he tried to impress someone more important and likewise did his bride-to-be. Their lives were founded on a common interest that would last, while ours were too superficial and we have not developed and grown together because of that. Theirs was based on a common goal that they were already saving up for some excellent real estate. No, they did not yet own their own property, but they planned to and were always working on it. Now this is going to sound weird but it sounded like some pyramid scheme because they had their children involved in it too. So they working for their real estate benefiting from the input of their children while their children are already laying their very own foundations.
I went home and reflected on what I had just heard. I realised that I, like most people have lost the plot. Here my neighbour was content and living the dream and what I thought was my reality was actually only deception.
Having understood what my neighbour told me I sat down with my wife and relayed to her this understanding. When my neighbour got married it’s because they shared the same interest and had a simple rule – Do everything to please Him and He will grant you the bonuses and all the rewards. Him is none other than the King of Kings – He owns everything – all you have to do is show you love Him. So my neighbour got married because of the love for Him, not for the love of the wife. But he, my neighbour, was touched by the fact that that his then wife-to-be also loved Him. And so out of that, their love for each other has grown and is still growing. Yes, they have taught this “Everything I do is for the sake of Allah” to their kids and for that they too get rewarded. The love in the family overflows because of the love of Allah.
So they have understood the love for Allah such that if for example they buy anything then they simply ask themselves – is this acceptable to Allah and will this bring me closer to Allah or take me away from Him. So the girls cover themselves because of the love of Allah. All of them pray on time for the sake of Allah. They eat for the sake of Allah. They sleep for the sake of Allah. They lower their gaze in the company of strangers of the opposite sex for the sake of Allah. They abstain from all wrong including listening to music and gossip. They do not follow celebrities who promote shamelessness making girls believe it’s good to expose their bodies or act in a lewd fashion. The boys do not follow those celebrities who do not show respect to women through their actions and lyrics.
These neighbours do it because they love life, but they do not fear death. The life they love is the promised life of the hereafter and for that yes, we all have to die.
They don’t just say they love Allah with their mouths. Their actions say they love Allah. They have contentment in their hearts.
Are we always going follow our hearts desires and live the illusion. Are we going to clean up our act and do it with love – the love of the One in whose hands is our lives – the One who sustains us with our daily provisions, The One who created us and all that is around us.
Shall we then not give thanks?
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